Father's Day 2013

MY DAD  

It's been 53 days since I lost my father and I've looked ahead at this June date with dread. I've also struggled with how to honor him best.   

The last few weeks of his life were difficult and I don't want that to be the way I (or anyone else) remembers him...his life was so much more.  

Above all else, my dad was a kind, loving, funny and honorable man who.sacrificed much for the benefit of his children.  A lasting legacy is the education I received -- something he valued tremendously.  

I remember the praise, the laughter, the love, the comfort and the time we spent together doing ordinary things...

• racing sticks in the brook;
• playing with our dogs Amber and Michele;
• countless games of catch;
• planting the garden and taking care of the pool;
• grilling and backyard picnics;
• going to baseball games and golfing tournaments;
• instilling in me a love of history as we wove visits to historical sites into the family vacation;
• fostering a love of travel and admiring the planning that went into our trip to Nova Scotia;
• a solo trip together to Seattle;
• attending the Special Olympics World Games Opening Ceremony together;
• being the dad that everyone enjoyed talking to;
• his ability to talk to anyone and laughing at how he would know their story after a 2 minute conversation;
• the way he cherished my mom

But I think what I am most proud of is that he treated everyone he met with the same level of respect!

In a nutshell, he was Most Excellent

(a phrase he often used when I called and asked him how he was doing)

I always told my dad how much I loved him and there was nothing left unsaid...nothing that needed to be rekindled.  For that I am thankful...

But that doesn't make it easier on this Father's Day -- the first I will spend without him.  There is a void and there are many tears.  I didn't want to be part of this club.

Now I'd like to share this message that we handed out to his family and friends. I draw strength from these thoughts because I know this is how he would feel:  

I'd like the memory of me

to be a happy one,

I'd like to leave an afterglow

of smiles when life is done.

I'd like to leave an echo

whispering softly down the ways,

Of happy times and laughing times

and bright and sunny days.

I'd like the tears of those who grieve

to dry before the sun,

Of happy memories that I leave

When life is done.

I love you Dad...and thank you!

While I'm Away...

Oh my...I have been delinquent here!  So here's a quick post...

I entered a contest recently but didn't win the official prize but I think I won because it felt damn good to be creatively silly.

The task was to write 'the best' out-of-office reply before climbing aboard the Rock Boat.  I chose to craft a little message using random song titles from each of the 34 artists on board the boat.

Step 1, collect artist discography (no small feat, there are 34 of them)
Step 2, conjure a story
Step 3, Let the song titles tell that story
Step 4, Let you read it:)

Song titles are in italic
_______________________________________________________________________________


Hello, It's Me:

So Last October, just as I was hoping for Better Weather, this gal from Virginia, thought 'Maybe Today I'll Suddenly book an escape for next February' Sounds Almost Perfect, right?

I Know You Know that In the Morrow I will be Leaving all of The Bright Lights of DC behind to set sail aboard the Norwegian Pearl for 5+ days of Uncomplicated fun in the sun!

It'll be one big Pool Party -- lots of music Everywhere, Sun and Magic!  Heck, I'm not an Early Morning Riser but You Never Know, there might be a Sunrise Song...but there won't be much Slumber! and then we get up and  Do It Again!  I am packing the suntan lotion, the summer dresses and my Walking Shoes but I'm leaving the Raincoat behind!  So Beautiful!

So When I'm Gone next week Down There, away from Terra Firma, I may not be able to get back in touch with you right away, so Three Little Words - please be patient! And if it's urgent or something is Coming Up soon, contact my colleagues at 555-867-5309.

And Understandably So when I Come Back Home I'm going to need the Loudest Alarm or I may not wake up and get back to work.

For now, I can already feel the Weight of the World slipping away...

Goodnight/Goodbye (for a few days anyway)

Sheila

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Where Do I Belong

Yesterday, I had my inaugural listen to Alan Doyle's Boy on Bridge cd -- I know I've heard 'Where I Belong' sung live before, but just where I heard it escapes my memory.   In listening to it today, my mind wandered... 'Where (do) I Belong'; 'There's No Place Like Home' (Dorothy); 'Home is Wherever You Are' (SK6ers); 'You Can't Go Home Again' (Wolfe)   Which is it???   As a young adult, post college, I couldn't wait to get out of dodge...anywhere but where I grew up. Don't get me wrong, Connecticut is a beautiful state and I do miss it so, but it didn't offer the career path I was looking for and I wanted to explore. So over the last many years, I have lived in the DC area -- and for the last 14 years in Arlington, Virginia. I affectionately call it the 'near-south'.   It offers everything I think I want -- proximity to city life and the excitement of where laws and foreign policy exploits are hatched! It is an area steeped in history and rich in culture and I love showing it off to friends and family.   My love of live music is nourished as most singers and bands pass thru here often ( and those that don't suffer my twitter-scold for sure)   I live a short drive from bucolic horse country, the Blue Ridge Mountains and the Chessapeake Bay...and a little farther to the Atlantic Ocean!   I love that this is a walking area and one with so many diverse restaurants.  I thrive on the hustle and bustle and multitude of free events.   ...and I have made some wonderful friends.   But no matter how long I've lived here in Arlington, I often feel like a visitor. I vote and I pay taxes and I avail myself of the plethora of services that the Commonwealth of Virginia and the City and County of Arlington provide -- but is this truly home? And what does home really mean? Maybe my adult life is one giant transient experiment or one long one-way work-study vacation.   Or maybe it's because I chose not to buy a home -- I didn't want the upkeep or responsibility and face it, I couldn't afford a house in Arlington these days. Maybe it's because I don't have kids in the school system and other activities but again, that was another choice and there are thousands of single residents like me.  There's no getting around it -- I have not found that place where 'everybody knows your name' and I always feel like I am at the mercy of service providers -- credit unions, car repair companies, retail organizations etc. When I go to CT, many business owners and neighbors may not know me, but they recognize the family name...the benefits of small city living for sure. But, every day I wake happy to be living here...it's just not the same type of place I grew up.    So as I prepare to travel to Connecticut many times this summer I will revel in those feelings and happenings that I just can't replicate here in Arlington -- the bright stars on a clear night; walking barefoot thru the green grass on a not-so-humid summer day; the constant buzz of lawn-mowers; the proximity to the shore (it's not an ocean); friends who have known me since I was a child; and the comfort of having family nearby. But it's not the same place I grew up...and it shouldn't be.   And then when I return 'home' to Arlington I will be thankful for public transportation; 7 days-a-week entertainment; free museums; sidewalks and bike lanes; and friends (near and far) that have chosen to be so -- thru proximity or becaue of similar interests. And, Arlington is not Connecticut, with its New-England heritage...and it can't be.   I guess I have the best of both worlds and I must try to be comfortable in the situation that presents itself...I guess it's more 'home is wherever you are'.

A shortcut to Europe

Taking advantage of events like an Embassy Open House is one of the reasons I love where I live. I only wish so many other people hadn't shown up on such a beautiful Spring day:) Lines into the Embassies were long and so I could only visit a few of the many on my list. At the EU delegation building I received a delegation cook book and I can't wait to try some of these recipes.

Note to self -- I really need to brush up on my 'study of flags'

As I went into some of the embassies my mind wandered back to my travels in that specific country. As I walked thru the doors to the off-the-beaten track embassy of Austria, I was reminded of my first solo European trip to Salzburg and my many photos (oh the many photos) of the Fort on the hill and all things Mozart and Sound of Music!

As I walked thru the Belgium Embassy door I was transported back to a summer afternoon sitting in the sunny Grand Place, searching out the Manneken-Pis, marveling at the Royal Palace and oh.the.mussels. But my first thought is always the terror I had when I discovered I got on the wrong train and instead of catching the quick train back to the airport to catch my flight to Dublin, I had jumped on an overnight train to Cologne:)

Saturday, I think the Belgium Embassy was my favorite -- a peek into the Ambassador's expansive office, lots of picture, a beautiful tapestry hanging in the foyer and the treats...oh.the.treats! Guests were able to sample chocolate, sugary waffles, bread with some amazing caramel spread called Speculoos, and beer! For a second, I thought about getting in line again:)



The Austrian and Slovakian Embassies had beautiful folk music and the British Embassy had whisky tasting! I now have packets of Austrian wild flower seeds that I am dying to try to grow.



While on my 5 mile trek around the the streets of Washington, DC, I decided to get acquainted with some of the non-EU embassies/consulate and chanceries, too -- many of which had their Open House last weekend -- and some of them are quite spectacular from the outside. I think three of the most striking are the UAE, Indonesian and the expansive Chinese one. (I'd really love to visit those).





I also discovered 2 new statues -- one of Gandhi and one of fomer Czechoslovakian leade, President Mazaryk.  The Cosmos Club only allowed women into its environs in the late '80s...1980s! And, there is something called the Society of the Cincinnati that keeps alive the ideals and fellowship of the Revolutionary War.  Who needs a classroom when you have the streets of DC:)

It wasn't just all about treats and art -- I actually learned that beginning on June 1, certified organic products in the US or EU can be sold in either region, cutting down on dual fees and certifications. I also got to meet some brave members of the British Royal Navy and get some information on the Olympics.

I love Europe so visiting the embassies was a way to dream about future trips. It was also a reminder of how inter-related we all are and how much we can learn and grow from one another. On Saturday, it was all about people enjoying learning about other cultures and embracing the differences!

Til next year!

Saying Good-bye

Consider this part of my ongoing grieving process -- _________________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

Two weeks ago I lost my faithful companion of 14 years -- my sweet Blarney -- a domestic shorthair cat that I adopted from the Animal Welfare League of Arlington in February 1998.  I named him after the Blarney Stone because I had just visited Ireland a few weeks previous.   From the moment he came into my home, he ruled the roost! He was, as my friend often said, 'one cool cat'! He had a great disposition -- cuddly on his terms, friendly to visitors and aloof as cats tend to be. He was my feline alarm clock and furry blanket.   He was a very strong cat, having battled thru many maladies over the years...for a couple of years I took him to a cat cardiologist for an echocardiogram (yes, they really do have cat cardiologists) He took the same heart meds that my dad still takes, though Blarney's were in smaller doses:)   He didn't really like to travel but once or twice a year we made the trek up to Connecticut to see my parents -- my parents doted on their grandcat and Blarney soaked it in and showed them great affection.   I think what I miss the most are the sweet meows and just his always being there and making me smile. There are 100 reminders around the home...   Walking in the door after work is the hardest for me because he would always come to greet me at the door. I've caught myself a few times about to call out to him. The first few days I put a sticky on my front-door key as a reminder. We also watched TV together and cheered on our favorite sports teams.  Blarney would also be right here by the keyboard. In fact just a few days prior to his death, he scratched at the keypad and pulled up the 'I' and '9' keys. I think I even tweeted about it:) He was my confidante and my closest companion and he loved me unconditionally.   I am still grieving, but the sadness comes in spurts. I just let the tears come and I feel better. I have wonderful memories,100s of pictures and a sweet clay paw print that the veterinarians provided me.   Saying good-bye was heart-wrenching but watching him suffer, even for just a few hours, was worse. I am comforted knowing that he had a good life.  Blarney brought joy to my life and I am forever grateful for the 14 years we had together. He is irreplaceable in my heart!

Fired Up!

On Saturday, just 6 months shy of the November election, I drove down to Richmond, VA for President Obama's campaign kick-off rally. I could not miss the opportunity -- I may not get too many chances for a VA rally on a weekend afternoon. The rally was energetic and inspiring, both serious and with moments of frivolity -- it was an afternoon spent with like-minded and friendly folks from around the Commonwealth. If the events in Virginia this past year taught me anything it is that one can't sit on the sidelines and just hope things get better. So for the next 6 months, I must get active in Virginia to make sure that our federal leadership is in place. I used to work on Capital Hill for many years and in many roles and it saddens me now to see the state of discord, vitriol and partisan fighting. Re-election seems to be the name of the game now -- not governing, not moving the country forward, not compromising. I am not sure when compromise became a 4-letter word -- the line in the sand not to be crossed -- but I don't like it! Don't get me wrong, Representatives in Congress have always been about self-preservation, but today men and women running for election are more often judged on what they can't or won't do rather than what they can and will do. And to get things done, we all have to work together! I believe that while 4 years may be a blip in our country's history -- the choices, the laws enacted, the regulatory promulgations and the Supreme Court decisions are vitally important to my life right now and in the future! For me, the distinction between the candidates is strong!  I want continued strong leadership with a willingness to reach consensus.  I want to end the war in Afghanistan and grow the economy for everyone.  I want the Affordable Care Act to stand and I want our country to embrace our differences and move forward...together! Elections have consequences and these are just a few of the reasons why I am getting involved -- whether to register new voters, educate people about the issues or get out the vote (GOTV) I may have to go outside my comfort zone but it's just too important not to! So after Saturday, I am officially Fired Up and Ready to Move Forward for the Obama/Biden/Kaine team!

Space -- last flight of the Shuttle Discovery

Today I had the privilege to watch the Shuttle Discovery makes its fly-over curtain call. I almost missed it because it arrived over the skies of Washington DC a wee bit early. I only had time to get to Lafayette Park across the street from the White House but I think that was a beautiful spot -- the double decker flying machines with the White House and Washington Monument in frame -- can't get much more USA than that:)

I've always had an affinity for space. I marveled at those men and women that defied gravity and actually burst out there -- I watched many of the launches, but sadly, never once in person:( When I do stop and look at the moon on a cool, clear crisp night, I am reminded that some lucky men and women actually went there...lucky! It is the end of an era and I hope our country can dream big again!

As a child, I remember pouring over books and posters about the planets, making dioramas of the solar system, and a family vacation stop at the Kennedy Center in Florida -- wow, that place seemed HUGE! Over the years I watched the various incarnations of Star Trek, Star Wars and Battlestar Galactica, Babylon 5 (sorry Sheldon) and repeats of Lost in Space. What's your favorite?

The Air and Space Museum is a must see for visitors to this area. I've been there many, many times so now I just point my visiting friends in that general direction. Sadly, I have yet to visit the Udvar-Hazy museum out in Virginia. That the Discovery will be residing there now is a great incentive to go out and wander. I just wish that, like the Air & Space Museum, I could wander for free...that $15 parking fee is steep (and it requires a car to get there)